June 27, 1996. That was the day my life came to a thundering halt. June 27, 1996 was my wife??™s last day on this earth. She was an incredible person, so nurturing and loving. Around her I felt such comfort, harmony and belonging. But that was gone. She was gone. And I was alone. Alone in my crazed, spiralling mind, alone in this now messy, stale house with nothing left except the beautiful daughter we shared.
Time passed, each day as dreary and depressing as the last. I had never experienced a pain so great in my life. I was hit with so many emotions from being mad and screaming my lungs out being immediately followed by a sadness so great that I??™d drown in my own tears. The only thing keeping me going was my gorgeous baby girl, Jade. She had grown into a mischievous school girl, becoming more and more like her mother every day.
It was Jade??™s bubbly, outgoing personality that kept me going; she helped me up when I fell. I knew I had to pick myself up and keep soldiering on for her. Eventually, with that attitude and inspiration, the pain began to subside; the days became clearer and the nights not as long. Whilst my wife??™s memory remained firmly imprinted in my mind, the remorse, pain and isolation had left me. It had been six years since that fateful day but finally the pain was diminishing, like the tides it was retreating only to return another day.
But now, life goes on. I live everyday to see my baby girl??™s beaming smile, hear her annoyingly high pitched yet lovable laugh. Because with her, I belong. With her I found a trust, love and companionship I haven??™t experienced since my wife.
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May 13 , 2008. My little baby girl was no longer a little girl; she had grown into a beautiful young lady. Her mother would??™ve been so proud. Jade was studying in her final year of school, locked away night in night out at her cluttered desk, toiling away, doing everything in her power to be her best and make me proud. That is until later in the year she returned home from school, university applications in hand. Deep down I had known this day would come; I just couldn??™t believe it was here already. My baby girl had grown up and was going to move away to uni.
Eventually the day came. I was a wreck, a blubbering ball of tears because caring for, and being with her was all I had known for so long. For her to not be living under the same roof as me would be like living on another planet. But despite my cautious feelings, this is what she wants and is best for her.
It was time. Her luggage was packed and ready to go and so was she. So with the backfire of her car she was off, journeying into her new, exciting life. And just like that she was gone. And I was alone.